Hrm....!

He awoke slowly. The rambling of his mind did not even quiet when he slept. The light slipped through the cracks of the paint on the windows as he slowly opened his eyes. The smell of dust and metal filled his nostril as he screamed to keep the voices from insulting him so directly.
He stood up, coughed and his day began. A grimace appeared on his face, as it did every day, as he made his way to his lab. The peeling wallpaper, holes in the floor, and the gray color that surrounded him only reminded him of what a failure he was. But all this would change today.
He had been arrested many times but, only for conspiracy to commit murder, or vandalism because he was building machines to do so, but the courts could never prove anything and were forced to let him go. Everybody knew what he wanted: World Domination, and he would do anything to get it. The police were always watching him and had a patrol specifically for him because they knew, one day, he was going to do something bad.
He had been called many things, but "Mad Scientist" seemed to be the norm, especially with his latest invention.
Identified as a simple laser. The city could not do anything to take it from them, but they knew what he wanted to do with it, he knew what he wanted to do with it, and he was going to. Today.
He walked up to a gray wall and stood there staring. A couple seconds later, a key pad came out of the wall. He typed in some numbers, and it returned to the wall seamlessly, as if it were never there. A small trapdoor opened beside him as he began to walk down the stairs.
Three stories down, he reached the last step. As his foot hit the ground, the light came out and he was blinded by white light. The fluorescent lights illuminated a laboratory only seen in the movies. Generic, really. Beakers filled with multi-colored fluids, computers humming and making random calculations, and everything white.
But at the end of the room, was a glass case. He smiled as he rushed towards it with excitement. As he stepped up to it, he press a button on the side of the case and the glass slipped upward and tilted back, allowing access to the prize inside.
It looked like a giant gun. Roughly four feet long with an eight inch circumference, shiny metal, and a small trigger on the forward end of the handgrip.
"You and me, we're gonna change the world." he whispered to it and he held it against his shoulder, taking aim at the wall. He turned abruptly, and fired toward the entrance and a beam of blue light shot out as he pulled the trigger. A loud "pew" sound erupted and a stable hum sounded as the blue light shot through everything in it's path, leaving a perfectly circular hole.
The gun had was fixed with an adjustable aperture to allow for a much larger beam. He intended to use the largest beam possible.









So, although it's terribly written, this is who my story will surround. A mad scientist, evil, who inherits child(ren?), but doesn't become the heartwarming father figure all movies show. No, he's always evil. And the children suffer, as they are constantly getting in the way of his plans for world domination.
Cheesy? Yes. But don't worry, I will keep working it to make it easier to read and less painful to endure.

Open to ideas.

Heads or Tails? Real or Not?

I decided to do a cover of one of my favorite songs by Emarosa called "Heads or Tails? Real or Not?". This is the acoustic version.




Woo hoo or boo hoo?

You decide.

A Lecture Spoken To A Melody

please don't sing to me
it's just a lecture spoken to a melody
I would listen anyway
I love the torture
and it would make you stay
So speak softly
and choose wisely
which topic about which you'll complain
It's unheard of
this justice
don't make me hear another word

I'm missing what I have to lose
I've gotten no sleep with you

So I propose another way
Creativity, can you be saved?
Baby, we're dying here
We're drifting apart
I can't write anymore
This is really all I've got

The well's gone dry
I'm all washed up
Oh, the things I'd write about
Oh, I give up
I need to help me
Make it not all for naught
Help me take a pen
and write down all my thoughts

My hand slips as I write
Oh, god, will I be alright?

Let's find out today
creativity, can you be saved
Baby, we're dying here
We're drifting apart
I can't write anymore
This is really all I've got

Please, don't turn off the light
I want to watch you tonight
Just tell me, will I be alright
I see conclusions in sight

Let's us find out who is to blame
Creativity, can you be saved?
Baby, we're dying here
We're drifting apart
I can't write anymore
This is really all I've got

Can any of this be true?
Creativity, I'm lost without you

Just so you know...

I haven't forgotten about you...

I just hate everyone of you.


A bunch.




Nooz to come.

Going crazy isn't necessarily a bad thing is it?

As we grow as as one
we think as two
and if we divide
we will drown
Separating in ways
Such that one would say
It's all relative
Yet always negative

I've seen it
I've been through it
I finally embraced it
And let go of it.

Watch this halo glow
On this everlasting lane
Such an animated pleasure dome
Doomed to carry infected flames

The flame sought rotten prospects
and guilty verdicts
to kill his appetite for delay
it wiped out control
and banished all reason
all out of guilt some would say...

The Sermon - Act III

Let's focus more inward shall we
overcoming sleep and fatigue
phantoms and spectral bases
forcing me to believe what is not real
these being that I am fine
and normal
and ready to be alive
and deserving of such
Oh how can the mind love
if it is consumed in confusion
my sanity net has been cut and torn into pieces
the threads wound together into balls
and being used to make flags and dresses for the spoiled
fucking me over in ways I couldn't even do to myself
the blues of the new sun have started to fade to gray
and I can to nothing but pray, prey, and play
but only when these images go away
will I be able to force myself asleep
you forced me to create
then tell me it's not true
well, neither am I
and neither are you
So with this love that has consumed me
it has been the blade that cuts the strings of my net
and you are the seamstress sewing it into a useless fashion
but what of me
I feel like I'm sinking with what was once my heart in my hands
as it slowly dries out, it crumbles into dust
it is at this point I know what must be done
I slowly grab the remainding strings of my net
I force it around your neck
It all seems exciting as the extremities of my demise flail about
but I know it's for the best
I her you scream with delight
and choke on your laughter
I know you're enjoying this as much as I am
I know you understand, you always did
you slap at my hands
but I can't hug you yet, we're not done
my mind is racing as I feel you start to sleep
you must be exhausted from all the fun we're having
I check to make sure you aren't awake
as I slowly set you down on the balcony
you are too beautiful to hide inside
I stand you up for the world to see
but your hair gets in the way
the world cannot see your face
I run inside and get you twin blades
I cut of the hair and put it in my pocket
I stand you up again
your face is radiating in a dull way
but you are so clumsy and you fall
I didn't know you could fly
I jump up and down, giggling
we should do this more often
I am so jovial as I run back home to join you
this is so fun
I make it home and the gray has spread unto the walls
the screams have stopped for the time being
I fashion the hair into a necktie
it seems fitting
you always said I looked good in a suit
but it's too loose
I loop the tie onto the hook that once hung the plants
why did you let those die?
they were pretty
they were the only things that stayed green
when everything else was gray
but soft, the chair under me slips under my clumsy feet
I guess we are both clumsy
we have so much in common
I can't wait to meet you
where everything is blue again
where the cold is comes when we wants to be close
and the heat is ever present
I feel the same happiness you felt
I feel lightheaded with ecstasy
I let out a mussitation and slowly let the gray finally fade to blacks
I see the light, no, two lights
one is white and another is filled with reds and oranges
I've heard which one is heaven
but white is so boring
I walk to the orange one as the heat builds up
I love the heat
the white light turns to blue
I maintain present path as the heat intensifies
I finally make it to a door
it open and I am greeted with flame
I know now I have made a mistake
but oh well, I love the heat
I can't wait to see you here
I leap into the flames as I look back at the blue light
I see you standing there, pointing
and with a grimacing smile,
I feel regret and sadness
for the first time I feel
This is where I'll burn...

The Sermon - Act II

So maybe I realize
my minds weakness,
in an abstract form at least,
are more about and aware of themselves
than I am of the beast
If only things had been different
made a left instead of a right
picked to fold instead of fight
I should have stayed
instead I left right away
I know now that the safety net of sanity
becomes to entangled when entwined
within the arms of another companion
it binds itself and makes knots and nots
until finally it snaps and all you are left with
is a web of unidentifiable strings,
incomprehensible knots
and as it falls down into the dirt
the whites that made it so pure
become brown and blacks
leaving the mind nothing to fall back on
when all things belonging to the norm
become bastardized and unreal
This will be my end...

Newer faces and brighter lights
blind me with unknown fear
of what is at the end of the light
I try to walk to towards it
but soon realize I am still,
at least in the physical sense, alive
but to what extent is the inquiry of my world
welcome to my world
I wake only to find my bed soaked
in sweat and urine, and nightmares
from the night before
I rush to move from the cold
yet I am immobile
or do I not want to move
maybe I am not trying hard enough
or trying to hard
I let myself lie in the dampness
that I called home for the night
I seem to care only when
it is not meaningless
when noone cares
and when it is goshe to do so
but I don't care about that
this is how I know I am awake
In my dreams I am valiant and courageous
and yet they all end with me falling
I wake just before the impact
and then I am a coward,
the faggot of the economy,
a beast of religion,
I think it's safe to say no one likes me
but who can blame them
I don't like me
if you could see
what I believe
how I am unclean
what I have seen
would you like me
you wouldn't let me be
They say I dress erratically
I wear what I have
they say I need help
they never offer to so
they say I scream at people
they mention not how they torture me
but I cannot say this to anybody
I can not publicly speak ill of my neighbors
This will be my end...

So one day,
in the midst of my normal sadness
figures in white flew around me
laughing, giggling, having a great time
but I was not involved
they held me down
tied down my extremities,
in an uncomfortable fashion,
as if to hopefully persuade them to finally fall off,
they have mentioned so before
they have been planning a mutiny against my mind
for control of course
and in a flash I am before a man in black
wooden hammer in hand
They say they appoint lawyers for criminals
I had not the good fortune to be a criminal
I orated to them my most moving off orations,
argued my best arguments,
explained my best explanations
and ended up here
I most have gone wrong somewhere
This will be my end...

The walls here are made of clouds
they feel nice
I like it here
I can scream and sing at the top of my lungs
and the thank me for doing so
they get me high every time I sing
I sing a lot
they say they will let me out soon
I would hope not
the world outside these huggable walls
are not ready for somebody
with a mastery of their mind
they say I crushed
under the weight of my own genius
like Hemingway they say
what an honor to be compared to that old coot
I sleep, peacefully, no dreams
no falling, no impact, no sweat,
just rest
for days and days it seems
until one day a man in a nice gray suit
comes in and shines a light in my eyes
he says I am fine
they let me out the next day
I am scared with a case full of my memories
and my sanity net wrapped around my neck
like a tribute to the bedlam
I go the only place I know where to go
hell
This will be my end...